Who are you listening to?

“The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.”  Oscar Wilde

“No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.” Mignon McLaughlin

Doesn't it seem like everywhere you turn someone is trying to tell you what to do with your problems or challenges...whether they know what they're talking about or not?  The danger is when you start to listen to it.  You'll usually find that your advisor or critics rarely, if ever, follow their own advice. 

Who are you listening to? Do you take advice and criticism from people who have no business giving it out?  Is it usually helpful?

More often than not though, critics have other agendas.  And they couldn't take their own advice if their lives depended on it. The problem with hearing unwanted or unwarranted criticism is that it usually isn't put in a constructive way.

When I was failing at sales, everyone had advice.  The trouble was, the people giving it were the furthest thing from professionals. 

Now don't get me wrong:  Criticism delivered properly from someone who has done what you’re trying to do is healthy, correcting feedback if you want to learn from them. Someone like a mentor. 

So here are two suggestions:

Don't give advice.  People don't want it.  They don't use it.  And they'll get sick of hearing it.  If you must, be a sounding board instead. When people hear themselves out loud, they often get the answer they were looking for without outside advice.  It's hard enough to change yourself, changing others is impossible.

And don't let critics ruin your mood.  Not even for a minute.  If someone comes along and gives you “advice” and you find yourself feeling powerless, make a mental note not to let yourself get into the same position of having to listen to unsolicited “advice” again. 

Listen to yourself and to people who have overcome the same challenges that you're facing.  That's it.  Talk to friends about your challenges, but unless they've overcome the same thing, be very careful about taking their suggestions. 

It could be very costly to your emotional, physical and financial health.

Books


100 Ways to Motivate Yourself: Change Your Life Forever 

How To Change Yourself (A Man's Guide To Inner Change, Reaching Goals, And Making Things Happen)

Three Things you Must Know ABout Change

By Dr Robert Anthony

Have you noticed how upset we get because things change?  As human beings we act like life should always be predictable.  And yet we know it isn't.  One of the reasons we get jarred by change is because we are creatures of habit. Another is that we are emotional human beings. As logical as we can be at times, it's the feelings associated with change that we tend to overlook. And it is these feelings that create the upsets and/or disorientation we sometimes feel during change.

In addition, there are three other major factors that enter into
the way we deal with change. The first is Personality Filter, the
second is where we are on the Levels of Awareness and the third is
whether or not we have consciously chosen the change we are
experiencing.

How do you generally react to change? On the spectrum of actively
seeking change to actively avoiding it, where do you fall? How do
you manage your feelings about change, especially if the change is
not one you chose?

Today notice how much of life is in the process of change and be
grateful for the ever-unfolding life that it represents.

Books by Dr Robert Anthony:

Dr Robert Anthonys Advanced Formula For Total Success

Beyond Positive Thinking: A No-Nonsense Formula for Getting the Results You Want

Think Big

Our Past Limits Us

By Hannah du Plessis

“Impossible is a word from the dictionary of fools!” - Napoleon Bonaparte

We judge our capability by our past performance. In this way our past plays a powerful role in limiting us because we use the past as a gauge of what we will be able to do in the future.

So often past failures are seen as the final authority for determining that our future is doomed to failure as well. Don't fall into this trap. Millions have failed, tried again and then achieved. You too have had failures that you turned into successes.

We all have achieved certain things in our lives. Academic achievements, sports achievements, career achievements. Yet often we do not interpret these accomplishments the way we should. We forget them and consider them unimportant. Your past accomplishments are proof that you can do more. Great things have already been achieved, and they indicate that you will still be able to do more in the future. You are older, smarter
and wiser.

Failures simply indicate that either, you still needed to learn some things, or that you were attempting to achieve something that was not part of your purpose at that time.

Don't judge your future by your past.

You have accomplished much. These are proof that you can do more.

Past experience also includes what we’ve been taught. Without realizing it, we were being brainwashed into believing a lie about who we are and what we can do.

You can't be more than what you believe you are.

Yet we have believed the lies and therefore find it hard to believe the truth. We have been programmed like a computer. But one can't just delete the programme, as on a computer. One has to reject the lies and re-programme one's mind with the truth.

The truth is that you are awesome, like an eagle: Intelligent, beautiful, strong, resourceful, courageous, tough. You are able to soar above the circumstances and achieve beyond your limits.

Undo what you have heard by repeating the opposite to yourself. Einstein said that it takes 11 positives to undo one negative. That means we need to repeat 1,63 million positives to undo the negatives that we have heard in our childhood.

Say things like:
I am brilliant
I am a Winner
I can do anything
I can be financially free
I can do the impossible

Identify what others have said about you and your abilities, which may be holding you back.
Reject the powerful lies one by one.

What lies have you believed?

You can do anything. Plan it. Take your time, you'll get it right.

Be All You Can Be!

Books on Success:

The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be

Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals

Success Is Not an Accident: Change Your Choices; Change Your Life

The Real Truth about Success: What the Top 1% Do Differently, Why They Won't Tell You, and How You Can Do It Anyway!

Handling Change

By Hannah du Plessis

"If we don't change the direction we're going, we're likely to end up where we are headed." –Chinese proverb

Have you ever tried to quit smoking or go on a diet? How about making changes to your beliefs? If you did, then you know how difficult it is to make a lasting change. And if it is so difficult to make a change in habit or beliefs, how difficult would it be to change your work ethics, environment, or structures ... or to change your career?

Change has been proven to be a good thing. Look at the way the world changed after the invention of electricity, the telephone, the motor car and the aeroplane. Also look at the way we do things compared to 100 years ago. Change is good!

If change is good, then why do we find it so difficult? It comes down to behaviour. People just can’t seem to change the way they behave. Examples are the growing waistlines in the western world. People are getting rounder. Diabetes is becoming an epidemic. Why? Eating habits: Behaviour!

If you as an individual want to change you need:

·         A definite goal

·         A strong reason why

·         Powerful motivation in the form of reward

·         Intense focus

·         Swift dealing with things that take your eyes off your goal

Why change your behaviour?

People who change their behaviour are winners. 95% of people just exist. They don’t live life to the fullest. It is the 5% that work for change that really live. The powerful feeling you get when you’ve reached a goal is tremendously satisfying.

So what do you need to change in your life or your business today? Make sure you remove all blocks and obstacles. Start setting goals, work on a powerful why, decide what your reward will be, focus all your attention on it, and make that change! Decide which direction you will be going in so that you can get there.

Books on Change:

7 Secrets of down-Time When Handling Change